A Conversation with Amma (my mom)- A Role Reversal.
My phone conversations with Amma have no boundaries . It just flows. That’s how conversations should be - you would say. But I want them to be happy and fun and imagine they should always make her happy. That is my wish as a daughter but I am sure they some time evoke sadness, guilt, regrets and make her question her beliefs too.
I am not just an obedient daughter, I challenge her to her core too. I force her to let go of sad memories, make her hang on to happy memories and sometimes be a bigger person.
My parents haven’t been to Balaghat, our home town for over a year. They miss their family and friends but very well know that their being with my sister for now is the best thing for all of us. They are happier and healthier in Bangalore. Today we were talking about their bucket list and she had a simple list of things to do in Balaghat when they go after their vaccination. A prayer (Satyanarayan pooja) at home, sarees for a few women, visiting the ancestral home, and meeting some old relatives. I told her these are not for the bucket list but rather they are for the “to do” list. She said -“well, I cannot add visiting Kashmir in the list, even if I want to, that is not real”. It just made me realize how simple and adorable my mom is. She said -”jo ho nahi sakta hai wo kyon sochana” (why dream about something which is not possible). She insisted that a person should dream having reality in mind and I disagreed. I said we should dream only then the universe will listen. I wonder how come such a content woman delivered this dreamer daughter. I reminded her that if her daughters were not dreamers, things would have been so different for all of us.
We grew up in a small town, had limited resources but we are some of the most fierce women you will meet. All four of her daughters are one of a kind, rebels, ambitious and out of the box thinkers. She fueled our passion with her love, support and confidence. I told her that she is “one” of the ”many” wind beneath our wings.She is our biggest cheerleader and that is enough for us.
I reminded her that for their 50th anniversary and Papa’s 80th Bday they didn’t want a big party. We made them pick a place and 6 of us “Jhas” went to Goa because “she, my mom” wished for it.
This conversation has opened the door to many more. I want my mom to believe that“dreams are to dream for,” there shouldn’t be any restrictions of reality, money and time. I am so looking forward to seeing her list tomorrow. My mom got an assignment too :) - she has to make a bucket list not a to do list :)
This is us - "then"
