Decluttering the life, mind and Facebook

When things get tough we all find ways to get through the time. Those things work some time and sometimes they just don’t. You are forced to find what works for you in that given situation. It’s like we evolve as human being. Our mentality and thinking evolves too ( Shape and Size in my case evolved more than my mind unfortunately). Things mattered most once don’t matter now. We move on not only with our needs but people, places, wants and desires. Our expectation from people, relationship and life changes.

Last week I went through that phase, overwhelmed by too long of a to-do list I needed to make some changes. I exactly knew what I needed to do but talking to a friend was like forced start. “Declutter your life”. Mr. husband has been saying the same thing for ages – “You don’t have to be part of everything”. Everything comes on its own time and it was time for decluttering Facebook. That evening I spent couple of hours and went through my friends list and was surprised to see how obsolete people can be in life. My world is full of people from many walks of life. Some were very important then but not anymore. My Facebook account was decluttered that night, time to move on to another aspect of crazy life.

I went through the list and removed people whom I didn’t interacted in long time, people who didn’t commented or said hello in long time. Many past memories were revisited, some I didnt even remember and some didnt bring a smile on my face and some just were not contributing in my life in any ways. I didnt want to have “friends” just for the number sake so decided to clean up. 

What did you do to declutter? Do you do the regular cleanup? What works for you? This was still doable, now finding another areas to “Declutter”, I know what you are thinking, No - My Saree closet is perfectly fine :) 

A pink Jamdani for a friend's "Gender Reveal Party" I had a blue Maheshwari and pink Jamdani on my bed to decide. Was talking to mom and she decided it should be pink :) and guess what Moms are always right. It is a girl for them. 

 

No time like this - but there is silver lining. My sister and brother in law are one of them.

All of us are fighting our own battle and some time we get to caught up that we forget to see beyond our world. few of us keep their own struggle aside to help out others, My darling sister is one of them. We have always known that she is a “do-er” but most of the time she won’t give us much detail. Posting on social media is not her thing, Her oldest sister Jaya ( your truly) is loud enough on facebook.

Today I received this msg on one of our cousin group. Someone  posted in Maithil Samaj ( the community my parents belong to)

My heart is so full. Too many sad news in recent time, lost uncles, aunts and cousins but this my friend - right here is the hope that this shall too pass.

आर्सेलर मित्तल निप्पन स्टील की कार्पोरेटर अफेयर्स की छत्तीसगढ़  हेड रहीं श्रीमती वर्षा झा और उनके जीवन सहचर  श्री पवन झा ने 2021 के अपने 365 दिन मे से 65 दिन लोगों की नि:स्वार्थ मदद करने के नाम से  समर्पित किया । 3 जून को उनका इस कार्य को करते हुए 65 वां दिन होगा। 

Chhattisgarh (Bastar 5 district, Raipur, Bilasapur) Bihar, Jharkhand,   Bengaluru,AP और telangana, Chennai, Maharashtra and Delhi के लोगों ने पोस्टकोविड और ड्यूरिंग कोविड सहायता के लिए इनसे  संपर्क किया।

ज्यादातर लोग पोस्टकोविड ट्रामा मे थे। उनकी साइक्लोजिकल काउंसलिंग के जरिए ही समस्या ख़त्म हो गई। कुछ को डॉक्टर की काउंसलिंग की जरूरत थी तो  उन्हें डॉक्टर से जुड़वाया। इस तरह  आज तक इन  दोनों ने कुल मिलाकर 276 लोगों की डायरेक्ट इनडायरेक्ट मदद की है श्रीमती वर्षा झा  श्री विजय कुमार झा बालाघाट की सुपुत्री तथा श्री पवन झा जी दामाद हैं । 

आप दोनों के इस कार्य से समाज का गौरव  दिन - प्रति दिन वृद्धि को प्राप्त कर रहा । 

 युगल द्वय  को  यश कीर्ति श्री  ऐश्वर्य प्राप्त हो इन्हीं सुका मनाओं के साथ जन - मानस की प्रेरणा हेतु यह  समाचार सामाजिक समूहों मे  प्रेषित किया जाता है ।

A news paper published a story  about them-

https://thenewshorn.com/rajya/chattisgarh/bastar-after-the-kovid-transition-varsha-jha-and-her/cid3167472.htm

A saree , simple silk with some work. Went for a saree meet. After such a long time we met in a little bigger group. All vaccinated still outdoor.

Holy Communion Ceremony - Religion is love, respect and honor and this Kasavu Saree

I was invited for a ceremony and interestingly I was the only woman (may be the only North Indian) in the Malayali Church in a Kasavu Saree . All the moms and other family members of the kids participating were beautifully dressed and wearing beautiful sarees.

I was thinking while observing from the balcony how wonderful it was to be an outsider and being able to pay attention to what was going on around me. The ceremony lasted for over two hours.

The prayers were sung in Malyalam ( A language of India) The male singer was amazing. Don’t know why I couldn’t stop thinking of Yeshudas and Chitra (two famous singers from that community) The female singer was good too but the gentleman was singing through out the ceremony.

Christians are always associated with service. I saw the nuns in the audience and they reminded me of the nurses we have met in our life. 

The church was quiet and didn’t have too many people. The covid protocols were being followed.

I enjoyed seeing young kids walking around, getting bored and parents trying to juggle the various aspects of their religious beliefs and parenting.

The two babies in the audience slept through out while the older siblings went on doing their religious duty.

I went inside a place of worship after a long time, went to respect the family’s faith. I don’t practice religion but am always curious to know more about other cultures and life. 

I came back home thinking how wonderful it was to have a chance to witness a celebration of this kind.

My Saree is a gift from my sister’s sister in law. My sister married in a Malyali Family so this saree is a tribute to that relationship. 

Saree Meet - Such a rarity in 2020-2021 - Apr 24th

 #71/365 Saree #32 in 2021

When I want to loose myself , Jagjit Singh comes to rescue.

Listen to this ..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2VtP1zjdG8

सुनते हैं के मिल जाती है हर चीज़ दुआ से

इक रोज़ तुम्हें माँग के देखेंगे ख़ुदा से

दुनिया भी मिली है ग़म-ए-दुनिया भी मिला है

वो क्यूँ नहीं मिलता जिसे माँगा था ख़ुदा से

ऐ दिल तू उन्हें देख के कुछ ऐसे तड़पना

आ जाये हँसी उनको जो बैठे हैं ख़फ़ा से

जब कुछ ना मिला हाथ दुआओं को उठा कर

फिर हाथ उठाने ही पड़े हमको दुआ से

आईने में वो अपनी अदा देख रहे हैं

मर जाए की जी जाए कोई उनकी बला से

तुम सामने बैठे हो तो है कैफ़ की बारिश

वो दिन भी थे जब आग बरसती थी घटा से

-राणा अकबराबादी

A beautiful Bengal silk ( Geecha palla and murshidabad silk I think)

A darling middle school friend who is my designated shopper in Calcutta Soma Roy

The mother’s day Saree Post

It was a special occasion and a very special saree too but I just cannot find cheesy words on this mother’s day.

It’s not me anyway to “celebrate” a day on top of that - Mother’s day? As a mom I demand royal treatment everyday :)

My mother I lovingly call Amma is another story. All she wants is a video call, “dekh li to ab achcha lag gaya re”  Now that I can see you,I feel good ”

So many times I am working and she is there on the other side of the world  on my phone screen but she is okay with it. I think so many times that what I tell her probably doesn’t even make sense to her. BUT she loves her daughters and that’s enough for me.

I miss not being able to do this with my Mother in Law. I wish I had invested some time and cultivated this kind of a relationship. Now I wish I had stayed with her for little longer and had spent one on one time. 

This Saree is special, Telia Rumal is not my style but to honor a daughter who is taking care of her father’s legacy I got this.  I had it delivered to Amma and asked her to wear it. She did in September and then this Saree travelled to Boston with a friend. 

This Sunday a mom (from Desi Moms Network)  invited us for a lunch with another family. My heart was heavy with all the sad news from home but decided to go for the lunch. I have started “ check on other moms, call/text/meet” initiative so it was my turn to show up and I am glad I did. She has her parents visiting and another mom showed up to say hello. It was a beautiful sunny Sunday and we all enjoyed  lunch outside. Wrapped in amma’s Saree made me feel loved and warm.

Kids decided to stay home. I don’t even remember when I went out with Ashish last . The drive was beautiful with Jagjit Singh playing for us.

I don’t know if it was the food, the company, the weather, the season or the Saree( maybe a combination of all) I felt loved, happy and appreciated. The drive back home was sure easier on the heart and soul but heavier on my stomach. 

Papa wore black T shirt and my man donned a red one. The saree looks so different indoor and outdoor. I loved how Papa and Ashish complimented the  colors in saree :) It sure was a happy mother’s day.

If you feel the despair - you are not alone.

witten on 5/3

This Monday morning I should start a fresh week instead my heart and mind lingers in past week.

Last week I was dealing with all sorts of emotions. With COVID ragging in India it’s like every family, every household is in its grip.

I have stopped watching and reading the news, delete WhatsApp forwards without even having a look. I just cannot deal with the insensitiveness and ignorance. Last wednesday I took a mental health day and went to a Tulip farm. It was my first time seeing so many flowers in one place. 3 of us best friends were dealing with our own fears and anxieties about families back home. We were not there for just picking Tulips, we were there away from the realities. But could we do that? We sat there in the midst of the flowers and could only think of our parents and families. How helpless we were and in the back of our mind we are dealing with “what ifs”. 

Our famlies are dealing with so many things related to Covid without many resources and means. So many of us are afraid and don’t want to confront that fear.

Yesterday one of my best friends lost her mom to Covid. I cannot shake off the conversation  we were having in the Tulip field.  Her mom was a vibrant woman, so full of life. Her zest for life was contagious. Two days in the hospital and she decided it was time to shake another world with her laughter and jokes. She was one of a kind, had her own you tube channel for Pati Stories (Stories from grandma). Few years ago I went to see her in Chennai after a shopping trip in Kanjipuram. After feeding me a sumptuous south indian meal she admired and enjoyed my shopping and loved that I got really good sarees for very good prices. Declared on the spot that her daughter is not at all a good shopper and for her granddaughter’s wedding Jaya and Amma will go shopping. Today my heart aches for N, her Nani would have been the first one dancing at that wedding.

I am going though our text exchanges from the last few days and all of us kept saying she will be back soon home with her humor and first thing she will do is complain about the mismanagement in the hospital.

Last night I sat with my friend speechless and afraid in my own mind. We cannot even go to be with our loved ones. I am not a religious person but I am this close to repeating the same as my friend posted on her wall - “Daya Karo Prabhu”  ( Have pity on us please god)

We all dealt with fear last year here in USA but this is just exhausting now. 

Please hold each other tight, call your mom and dad and tell them you love them because you never know what is coming and who is next. 

PC- Sunayana's instagram pic - sometime you just need to borrow when you cannot find your own words.

Some time thats all I need to get through the day. Smiling Amma

Review - Wicked Tulip Farm, Exeter RI - Must visit - A day for my bollywood dream

If you want to spend some time among flowers and colors this is your place to go. For me it was an hours drive. We spent two hours at the farm and two hours on the road. It was worth it though. 

Monday-Sunday 10 am – 7PM 

 weekday tickets - $17, Weekend -$20 and include 10 U-pick tulips plus 7% tax and $1 processing fee - 

 https://wickedtulips.com 

Ticket Link - https://www.tickettailor.com/events/wickedtulips

https://www.tickettailor.com/events/prestonctwickedtulipsflowerfarm/519676/#

Things to remember -We went to Exeter RI. Heard their CT farm has late blooming tulip varieties . Check their site early and often and  buy your tickets online (they are selling about 90 tickets per half hour ) I would pick a week day (as we did this time) and pick a 10 AM slot ( they open at 10). We were a little late in buying our tickets so 10 and 10.30 slots were booked. 11 wasn’t bad either but then it gets crowded soon. The field is huge but lines at checkout can be long. Ideally one should carry a basket to pick the flowers and  a gallon of water and a vase/bucket to bring the tulips home with you. You get to pick 10 stems with your entrance ticket. Each one after that is $1 per stem. There are no restroom,  just the port a potties and  hand washing stations.  Parking was easy and manageable ( they have people directing visitors to empty spots). Not sure what was the scene later in the day. Sneakers are advisable not fancy shoes. After all it’s a farm so don’t forget the mud and soft soil ( remember to wear boots/ galoshes if it rained the previous night). 

Tulips are organized into rows of colors and variety and are labeled . If you have just 10 tulips and don’t want them wrapped you can go through speed checkout. We faced long lines to pay for the extra stems. They count, take off any bulbs attached to the stems picked and then wrap your flowers in brown paper. Next time I will not buy anything extra, just hand over the yellow coin, show the 10 tulips and get out of the place. Also remember to pick some that are not open yet(still buds), they will last longer at home. 

If you want to enjoy the view and walk around, an hour is enough but if you want to stroll around, sit, pick and watch people, plan that way. Once you are in they don’t push you out. No picnic or food allowed but we decided to sit and chit chat, hung out, took our pictures and took pictures for many more people. The picture perfect time is after 4 PM though. Cloudy day is not bad either. Take tons of pictures and again take pictures even if you have taken plenty. Remember to bring a water bottle , it can get hot. 

 

We picked a waterfront restaurant in East Greenwich but it was closed. Opening on April 29th for the season. But Google didn’t have that information so call ahead. We went to another one and the food was fabulous. I would also recommend a packed lunch for a picnic at the State Park nearby if that is preferable. Whether you go with the whole family or plan a trip with just girl friends it will be treat and a feast for your eyes and soul. 

For us Bollywood lovers Tulip represents Romance in a big way. For my generation Abimatbh Bachchan has totally changed the definition of romance, love and hero. If you want to see what I mean then watch this clip. I so wish I had the hero with me to sing the song in that field :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dO_MS9tZ5E