Is there really a thing called "private" when it comes to your FB profile?

I have been thinking about it for few days. I was about to update my status one day and suddenly stopped, thinking did I really want all my "friends" to read this.

I was wondering if I really want to share few of my pictures or status updates to my ex- students or my nieces or nephews?

I know there are few settings and you can limit the audience and what not.

Believe me I had done all that before. When I had few friends (cannot even imagine now) I used to do custom setting, then after 50 I think I made groups for family, distant families, friends, friends 2 and few more I rather not disclose here. But now I have over 300 friends, it's so difficult to maintain those lists. I did try few times to "update" the lists though.

I have my school friends, college friends, friend's families, my students, few of my husband's friends, their wives, his friends from school and two different colleges, his various jobs and my friends from different places I lived in, few groups I became part of.  Off course when I make friends or accept the request I make sure I know them personally most of the time.

Then you meet people out of these categories and they are your friends now.

So far I am not including my colleagues as my FB friends but sometimes I feel left out at work when they all talk about FB. I am still not considering opening my facebook profile to work gossip.

In my Marketing class we had a discussion how the HR is screening the candidates from facebook profiles. And that got me thinking again about pictures on FB.  I can make my profile private or very restricted but I am still widely visible on FB.

I keep everything restricted only to the friends or to certain list but how about my friends who keep their profile open to public or to their friends?

 So here I am thinking what’s next? What should I do? Is there anything I am missing in privacy setting or just not post anything personal? The later is not so attractive choice as I really love my FB circle.. Any suggestion or what do you all do?

This post is much about facebook, will write more about other aspect of privacy soon.

Aa neele gagan tale, pyar ham karen….Saamne baithe raho singaar hum karen..

Every time I come back from Sa Re Ga Ma and next morning I relive that night again telling Ashish all about it. This Sat was no exception, driving to Newton next morning  in that storm all I could think of how fun it was to meet and listen all of you. When I woke up next morning, it was Benuji’s song from second round I was singing.. uh?? Ok trying to hum.. I am thankful that we could ask few of them to sing again. This song was the highlight for me. Song of the evening –

Neele gagan tale pyar hum kare.. Its 4 days and this is still going strong ;)

What a night... I was supposed to be the host and tried hard to pack and get ready for everything from spare disposables to sheets to some snack and cleaning supply to what not. But it was just not my night.. The usual place – Club house had no heat. It didn’t take seconds for Sunanda and Praveen to open their home and heart to us. I am just amazed and still think it’s one of those times when you believe that “goodness” still exists. We all love the group and wait for that special night but accommodating so many people in a snowy night without warning needs lot of courage.

So finally we settle down with food, so many new addition so it was socializing hour, finally we could began our mahfil after the dinner and then there was no stopping. What a night it was..

We started with Dr. Shetty’s – Dil Ghoom Ghoom kare, It was a real tribute to Bhupen Hazarika. Dr. Shetty has a very unique voice and amazing selection of songs. He sang another song – mere man ki ganga..from Sangam

Praveen made us dance on his tune with Nazar na lag jaye from Night in London. I do call him Hemant Kumar but he sang Rafi’s song beautifully.

Rohini had to make Gauri and Jaya rock the dance floor with Kajara Mohabbat wala.

Prabha Srinivasan joined us for the first time and she sang pyar kiya to darna kya from legendary Mughal- e-Aazam.

Shobhana di changed the whole romantic mode to fun and more fun.. Oh boy it was whole different world when she sang damadam mast kalandar, the most famous Kawwali. With her wonderful voice she was sitting and singing and I have no idea what I was doing other than clapping and singing with her.

Ruchika is another great addition, she sang Jagjit Chitra’s- Socha nahi achha bura..

Gauri sang a popular beat in her style – Morani baga me bole aadhi raat ma from Lamhe.

Our darling host Sunanda was next with Rang dil ki dharkan bhi lati to hogi- from movie Patang. I wonder how could she be so calm with so many people in her house but she was her Sunanda self -smiling and calm and it reflected in her voice too.

Benuji brought Umraojao alive with Dil Cheeze kya hai aap meri jaan lijiye..it is one of my fav song but for me her second song took over everything that night.

Meenaji has been singing classical based and it’s a good change for all of us – With her Shankar Mahadeo Bhajan, we needed that calmness after adrenaline rush from all those fast beats.

When I invited Chitro I knew he will bring something different, after that Kolavari songs we expect anything nontraditional and he didn’t disappoint us and sang tum miley to jeena aa gaya.

Pratibha also sang yaron nilam karo susti an old song in a new fresh style, Great job Pratibha. We missed Preetesh but loved to have you.

Anu Chitrapu was a new voice to the group too, she is so soft spoken but when she started singing I couldn’t believe the strength in her voice. I didn’t understand a single word it was in Tamil but Music had its own language and we all felt that.

Manohar Rao sang hazaaron khwaishein aisi ki har khwahish pe dam nikle.. It’s a very difficult ghazal to sing and he did a wonderful job. I cannot even hum this ghazal forget about singing.

Vinodji sang one of Mohd Rafi’s best - pukarta chala hoon main gali gali bahar ki is usual charming vinod style, in second round he sang jo tumko ho pasabd wahi baat karenge I enjoyed watching Kamal more than anything, She was beaming with pride.

When I asked Ruma to sing I knew she would bring Bangali treat for us, now I think we are diversifying our group. Ruma and Shobha Di sang Bengali song, Anu sang Tamil song we might hear some more languages soon I hope. In second round Ruma sang Ekla chalo re and we all understood some of that song. It’s  so much fun watching Shobha di and Sudarshan singing with her.

Sudarshan sang kabhi khudpe kabhi halat pe rona aaya and it was beautiful, he sang Jeena Yahan marna yahan in second round. Usha Raju sang tujhse naraz nahi zindagi from Masoom. Dyutimaan da teri duniya mein jeene se to behtar hai ki mar jaen… dada no more sad song from you... it was a heavy song for me and I am so glad Lata Rao made me happy again with her fun voice and happy style -Jane kYa tune kahi, jane kya manie suni.

Sudipto and Namita are new addition to the family, we were about to start our Duet session and Sudipto’s Guitar was perfect break from singing. He sounded so soothing and melodious.

Meena and Brij are fun when they sing together - Deewana mastana hua dil janey kaha hoke bahar aayi

Shobhana di and Dada sang Lokachuri- from Kishore Kumar collection in Bangla.

It was a fabulous evening but it was time to call it a night. I am sure we all drove back home singing and talking. Every month we get more from last month and this time it was no different.

Imagine a scene in my kitchen – I am cooking and Ashish helping me with dish washing. Music is on my counter and suddenly he asked did you sing last night or you are singing next month and I asked why ? He said you always hum but today you didn’t stop at mukhada only you are singing antara too ;)

It was Benuji’s Neele gagan tale song..

see.. That’s what being a part of Sa Re Ga ma do to you J Don’t you all agree with me???

Am I becoming my Mom and Dad?

How many of us swor in our teen years that we would never be what our parents are. Hated their rules, dismissed their ideas and thought they need to learn more and try new stuff.

Well I love my mom and dad and still feel some times things could have been differnet if they had different way of thinking.

I do disagree to few of their philosophy But i feel I statred to agree their way in few areas as well.

I was the oldest and wasnt a typical girl, loved doing things my way.

Was a smart student but never worked hard. I read a lot, wrote a lot and did many more stuff other than studies. I would read books and dictate the notes to my friends but never read from those notes, she was the topper and I just maintained my good grades. But I read everything other than text book.

Now I see the same thing with my son and get angry with him. Somehow i  now feel that  Math and Science should be the highest priority. I didint work hard enough but I want my son to do that. It makes me mad if he ignores his studies and play games or you tube or facebook. 

Double standard???? Any thoughts...

What Mark Zuckerberg did to us…

During December vacation i had invited few friends for dinner at home and during one of those dinner i realize that i was meeting my friend’s husband n son for the first time, for those almost 3 hours we all kept on talking and talking, like old friends. It was their first visit to our home but we all felt we knew each other for a long time.

She is my facebook friend so we have seen each others family picture, read status updates and did some small chit chat in last few months, met few times without families but having them home felt so close to heart, not first time visit.

Another time when my husband introduced himself to one of my other friend as Jaya's husband she replied oh yah I know have seen your pictures on FB :)

I feel so happy and lucky to have that kind of social network.

I always been a social butterfly and never believed in gender-biased friendship, belonged to a small town but had friends in all color, size, age, religion and gender.

Always had a close relationship not only with my friends but their families, relatives and friends too. I was a friend with my friend’s grandma to their tiny cousins.

Later I took my husband’s friend as my friend but facebook again gave me another circle of friends. Most of them are successful women but for me their success lies in their personality.

I never felt that their career or money or status is a barrier in our friendship.

It’s all because of facebook. We feel we all know each other so well. We don’t get to meet often but we are so well connected everyday through facebook. We almost TALK everyday as status updates and comments, thoughts, suggestions, compliment and what not.

I know my FB friends are next to me when I am happy, down or sad or angry. My day begins with their thoughts and end with their messages.

Mark Zuckerberg, we love you for giving us so many valuable relations.

When you started the face mash it had the whole different philosophy behind it. You wanted to see girls and see...we found friends...Thank you..