How many of us swor in our teen years that we would never be what our parents are. Hated their rules, dismissed their ideas and thought they need to learn more and try new stuff.
Well I love my mom and dad and still feel some times things could have been differnet if they had different way of thinking.
I do disagree to few of their philosophy But i feel I statred to agree their way in few areas as well.
I was the oldest and wasnt a typical girl, loved doing things my way.
Was a smart student but never worked hard. I read a lot, wrote a lot and did many more stuff other than studies. I would read books and dictate the notes to my friends but never read from those notes, she was the topper and I just maintained my good grades. But I read everything other than text book.
Now I see the same thing with my son and get angry with him. Somehow i now feel that Math and Science should be the highest priority. I didint work hard enough but I want my son to do that. It makes me mad if he ignores his studies and play games or you tube or facebook.
Double standard???? Any thoughts...
:-). Love your thoughts. I am sure it,'s the same with e'one. We become like our parents.
ReplyDeleteYes I do have thoughts… While I am not a parent, and so could not possibly know first hand the frustration that must come with watching your children squander their potential, I feel that the time of “parenting” as a lordship has passed (at least in the US). I feel that you, Jaya, have felt this by admitting doubt in the practice of lordship and giving room for the frustration you are feeling to bring forth a different approach to this reality you face.
ReplyDeleteSo what is the alternative? Well, there has to be a reason why studies were not your priority as a child. Think about it. You must have been getting some kind of positive reinforcement from the experiences outside studies. I hear constantly on the news that Math and Science are THE subjects to invest in if you want your kids to be in the running for the highest paid jobs straight out of college. That may be a truth, but another inevitable truth is that sometimes kids (people in general) can’t or don’t relate to Math and Science. If Math and Science are going to be a priority in your house and your child shows a passing interest, then you are going to have to take off the antiquated crown of parenting lordship and take a different approach.
Parenting through mentorship- yes it is hard, yes it is time consuming, but the pay off is huge! As a parent mentor you would be responsible for providing an environment that will expose your children to the things you see as a priority through a lens that they can relate to. If your son loves Facebook or Youtube or gaming then tie that into Math and Science. These subjects are behind everything in our world.
In your blog post “What Mark Zuckerberg did to us…” you praise Facebook for the social platform it has provided you, yet you don’t like the attention your son gives it. Try suggesting he read Mark Zuckerberg’s biography for his next book report. Post cool Youtube links on his wall about the science he is currently studying. Honestly this one is really cool: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Ws6AAhTw7RA
Basically in today’s day and age being a parent is more challenging than ever, requiring more innovation than ever. Find out what puts a light in your kids eye and then capitalize on it. Nagging won’t get you anywhere and anger/frustration might cause a shut down. Ask and inspire, don’t dictate and discourage.
"Don't ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."
~Howard Thurman
(katherineforbes.wordpress.com)