Review - Wicked Tulip Farm, Exeter RI - Must visit - A day for my bollywood dream

If you want to spend some time among flowers and colors this is your place to go. For me it was an hours drive. We spent two hours at the farm and two hours on the road. It was worth it though. 

Monday-Sunday 10 am – 7PM 

 weekday tickets - $17, Weekend -$20 and include 10 U-pick tulips plus 7% tax and $1 processing fee - 

 https://wickedtulips.com 

Ticket Link - https://www.tickettailor.com/events/wickedtulips

https://www.tickettailor.com/events/prestonctwickedtulipsflowerfarm/519676/#

Things to remember -We went to Exeter RI. Heard their CT farm has late blooming tulip varieties . Check their site early and often and  buy your tickets online (they are selling about 90 tickets per half hour ) I would pick a week day (as we did this time) and pick a 10 AM slot ( they open at 10). We were a little late in buying our tickets so 10 and 10.30 slots were booked. 11 wasn’t bad either but then it gets crowded soon. The field is huge but lines at checkout can be long. Ideally one should carry a basket to pick the flowers and  a gallon of water and a vase/bucket to bring the tulips home with you. You get to pick 10 stems with your entrance ticket. Each one after that is $1 per stem. There are no restroom,  just the port a potties and  hand washing stations.  Parking was easy and manageable ( they have people directing visitors to empty spots). Not sure what was the scene later in the day. Sneakers are advisable not fancy shoes. After all it’s a farm so don’t forget the mud and soft soil ( remember to wear boots/ galoshes if it rained the previous night). 

Tulips are organized into rows of colors and variety and are labeled . If you have just 10 tulips and don’t want them wrapped you can go through speed checkout. We faced long lines to pay for the extra stems. They count, take off any bulbs attached to the stems picked and then wrap your flowers in brown paper. Next time I will not buy anything extra, just hand over the yellow coin, show the 10 tulips and get out of the place. Also remember to pick some that are not open yet(still buds), they will last longer at home. 

If you want to enjoy the view and walk around, an hour is enough but if you want to stroll around, sit, pick and watch people, plan that way. Once you are in they don’t push you out. No picnic or food allowed but we decided to sit and chit chat, hung out, took our pictures and took pictures for many more people. The picture perfect time is after 4 PM though. Cloudy day is not bad either. Take tons of pictures and again take pictures even if you have taken plenty. Remember to bring a water bottle , it can get hot. 

 

We picked a waterfront restaurant in East Greenwich but it was closed. Opening on April 29th for the season. But Google didn’t have that information so call ahead. We went to another one and the food was fabulous. I would also recommend a packed lunch for a picnic at the State Park nearby if that is preferable. Whether you go with the whole family or plan a trip with just girl friends it will be treat and a feast for your eyes and soul. 

For us Bollywood lovers Tulip represents Romance in a big way. For my generation Abimatbh Bachchan has totally changed the definition of romance, love and hero. If you want to see what I mean then watch this clip. I so wish I had the hero with me to sing the song in that field :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dO_MS9tZ5E

Keep calm and Saree on - a tribute to Sunita Budhiraja

Thursday had so many incidents in one day. I had a very important meeting. It was 2 hours long one so I took the day off. Little did I know that the day would show me so many colors of life. Woke up with the sad news of the passing of a woman I adored and respected in the Saree world. She was an epitome of grace, persona and passion. She brought so many of us saree lovers together. All these years without many knowing she introduced many to handloom sarees. Covid has taken so many amazing people away. My heart is so heavy typing this.

I was invited to meet a mom in law from Moms Network. It was a good hours drive so I decided to meet a friend mid way. The unplanned trip was much needed, we talked about our life, kids and various interests. She had no idea how welcoming that break was for my noisy mind.

The lunch was full of flavor and love and the kid in that household who really knows how to keep everyone involved. A grocery store stop and the day was just gone. I wonder how many of us wish for a few more hours in a day. A phone call during my drive is what is bothering me today. A friend  is going through a tough time, after 15 years spending life with a man, she is struggling to keep things in the right perspective. She is questioning her marriage and decision and standing at a crossroad. I wish I could be of any help. Hopefully she finds a path in the right direction.

The morning meeting was a peek into the Boston Non Profit world and I was in awe of those young people who know their calling. How they want to make a change in the world. I hope I will be able to talk about that stuff some day. Till then all I can say is “keep calm and saree on”. I struggled to keep my mind in right place, didnt feel like "getting ready" I couldnt shake Sunita di's death but thought of her and had to wear the saree. I saw the article night before and was smiling thinking she and I have the same saree. That was a sign she will always be around us. 

Love comes in many forms - Home cooked lunch is one of them - a pahadi delicacy I think its called Suhale 

Sunita Budhiraja  was an author and poet a very renowned communications professional.
Biographer of  Pandit Jaraj. She started Six Yards and 365 Days on  social media to promote handloom and wearing saree in 2015. I am part of that group. She started a trust/foundation of same name to support weavers.

Prashna-Paanchali and Saat Suron Ke Beech  and Pandit Jasraj- Rasraj are some of her books.

She died of COVID last week. her mom passed away 2 days before her.

https://www.unnatisilks.com/blog/sunita-budhiraja-the-founder-and-chairperson-of-six-yards-and-365-days

 

I was invited to speak on her group about Desi Moms Network on April 2nd this year.

 I have a very similar Kanjivaram Saree - a treasure now 

कोंपलें फिर फूट आईं शाख़ पर कहना उसे - a morning April17th, 2021

“You are crazy but in a good way” - A compliment from my son.

Some mornings are just wet, easy and lazy. Today was one of those. I woke up earlier than usual and that gave me an early start. Posted some pictures on my Saree pact journey and began my day. 

I made desi Tea and husband made a nice breakfast. Anand decided to spend his morning in the basement with legos. The 3 of us sat on the table and I noticed the tree right outside my window is full of buds. A rain shower in April is so magical. And the first thing that came to my mind was - “konpalen phir phoot aayeen, shaakh par, kehnaa use” कोंपलें फिर फूट आईं शाख़ पर कहना उसे! 

My older son has always been my captive audience. I had to recite two lines for him, knowing very well that he couldn’t understand the verse, so I translated them. He is such a darling son, he paid attention to what I was trying to convey. I got frustrated butchering that beautiful piece of poetry. 

The conversation then moved to how Khan Sahab Mehndi Hassan (the singer, a legend in Ghazal genre ) and then young Farhat Shahzad ( the lyricist) met by chance and their first collaboration started a whole new direction for both of them. Coincidentally that album was my introduction to Khan Sahab and Farhat sahab. Those Ghazals forced me to pay attention to Khan Sahab. Younger me was a Jagjit Singh fan but Farhat Sahab’s poetry and Khan Sahab’s voice  in this album widened my world even more. I went on explaining to my son how that one album became an amazing memory and later the reason I met Farhat Sahab. Few years ago when he visited Boston he came home for breakfast with his amazing wife. I think the mango I served did some magic and Amrit begum took me in her heart and life. Our friendship is beyond Khan Sahab, Farhat Sahab and ghazals and music now. It is a sum of so many things in life. I went to San Diego in Sept 2019  and it was one of the most memorable trips of my life. I was with them for a long weekend. The drive along the Pacific sea coast, listening to ghazals and miles of no conversation, only Khan Sahab’s voice and endless ocean by the side. My son laughed when I told him that I asked Farhat Sahab to just stop the car so I could dip my feet. During those 3 days I was just me, not a wife or a mom or anything. 

This morning I sat outside on my porch on this cold and wet morning, listening to this beautiful ghazal and didn’t even know when the tears started to roll down my cheeks, without any warning.

That’s the magic of the words and the voice. 

Sunset in Tijuana Mexico Cannot thank both of them enough to put up with my craziness of sunset, ocean, ghazals and everything else which comes with it. 

 

and thats how it started this morning.

कोंपलें फिर फूट आईं शाख़ पर कहना उसे

वो न समझा है न समझेगा मगर कहना उसे

वक़्त का तूफ़ान हर इक शय बहा कर ले गया

इतनी तन्हा हो गई है रहगुज़र कहना उसे

जा रहा है छोड़ कर तन्हा मुझे जिसके लिये

चैन न दे पायेगा वो सीम-ओ-ज़र कहना उसे

रिस रहा हो ख़ून दिल से लब मगर हँसते रहे

कर गया बरबाद मुझको ये हुनर कहना उसे

जिसने ज़ख़्मों से मेरा 'शहज़ाद' सीना भर दिया

मुस्करा कर आज प्यारे चारागर कहना उसे

- फ़रहत शहज़ाद 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vHQzZW5SG1o&t=438s

another link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5QPs78IP1w

Grief - It has taken on a new level of intensity

 Conversations with my mom everyday bring out different aspects of her and my life. Today it was all about what grief really is.

My mom lost her nephew today, he was 61 and the newest victim of COVID in our family. Why did I not call him my cousin ? Because in our conversation today that’s who he was - my mom’s nephew. 

We are all dealing with the overwhelming nature of this pandemic, many have lost family members , jobs , financial security, relationships and some have found new a perspective in life. This grief is not just what it meant all our life, it is complicated. Today I witnessed it first hand.

My mom lived with her cousins during her school years. She grew up with four brothers and 2 sisters-in-law. The other two SILs came later. But her teen years memories are all about these 6 people and then their children. She loved being the “bua”(Aunt) to those kids. 

This morning she was busy doing her stuff and missed some phone calls and lots of WhatsApp messages . When she finally got the news she was just devastated. I didn’t know what to say and then I realized nothing will help her. She is miles away in Bangalore from everyone and even if she was close by she couldn’t have been there anyway. The complete lockdown and Covid related deaths have changed how we grieve. 

So I did something different - made her recall her happy memories and then she did turn into the bua she always was. How she had played with him, loved dressing him up, taught him to walk and talk, what a happy and wonderful child he was, how happy she was when he started calling her bua and how she always admired the soft-spoken man he turned into. 

It’s funny how she made me remember my own time. I lived exactly like that for a couple of months with this cousin’s son. I stayed in my Mama’s home for some time and did the same with my nephew what my mother did for her’s.

I told her it’s okay to cry and relive these memories. It’s okay to feel anger and frustration. She has seen a lot of losses in her life but untimely deaths are the hardest and also the inability to grieve with family makes it harder. This is a year of mourning, we are not able to say our goodbyes to our loved one, not able to touch them and whisper in their ears how much we will miss them. Not being able to hug who are left behind.

I know she went to bed crying and remembering everyone she has lost in the last few years. All her brothers and their wives are gone. But this loss from the next generation I think hit her the hardest. I will grieve for my cousin some other time. Today I am grieving for my mother’s loss.

Wish I had something better to say to her but for now all we can do is hold on to each other and somehow get through this time of our lives.

Mami with her son and daughter and me 

Mami with Ashish and Jaya