If you feel the despair - you are not alone.

witten on 5/3

This Monday morning I should start a fresh week instead my heart and mind lingers in past week.

Last week I was dealing with all sorts of emotions. With COVID ragging in India it’s like every family, every household is in its grip.

I have stopped watching and reading the news, delete WhatsApp forwards without even having a look. I just cannot deal with the insensitiveness and ignorance. Last wednesday I took a mental health day and went to a Tulip farm. It was my first time seeing so many flowers in one place. 3 of us best friends were dealing with our own fears and anxieties about families back home. We were not there for just picking Tulips, we were there away from the realities. But could we do that? We sat there in the midst of the flowers and could only think of our parents and families. How helpless we were and in the back of our mind we are dealing with “what ifs”. 

Our famlies are dealing with so many things related to Covid without many resources and means. So many of us are afraid and don’t want to confront that fear.

Yesterday one of my best friends lost her mom to Covid. I cannot shake off the conversation  we were having in the Tulip field.  Her mom was a vibrant woman, so full of life. Her zest for life was contagious. Two days in the hospital and she decided it was time to shake another world with her laughter and jokes. She was one of a kind, had her own you tube channel for Pati Stories (Stories from grandma). Few years ago I went to see her in Chennai after a shopping trip in Kanjipuram. After feeding me a sumptuous south indian meal she admired and enjoyed my shopping and loved that I got really good sarees for very good prices. Declared on the spot that her daughter is not at all a good shopper and for her granddaughter’s wedding Jaya and Amma will go shopping. Today my heart aches for N, her Nani would have been the first one dancing at that wedding.

I am going though our text exchanges from the last few days and all of us kept saying she will be back soon home with her humor and first thing she will do is complain about the mismanagement in the hospital.

Last night I sat with my friend speechless and afraid in my own mind. We cannot even go to be with our loved ones. I am not a religious person but I am this close to repeating the same as my friend posted on her wall - “Daya Karo Prabhu”  ( Have pity on us please god)

We all dealt with fear last year here in USA but this is just exhausting now. 

Please hold each other tight, call your mom and dad and tell them you love them because you never know what is coming and who is next. 

PC- Sunayana's instagram pic - sometime you just need to borrow when you cannot find your own words.

Some time thats all I need to get through the day. Smiling Amma

Holiday party and unexpected coincidences

#100SareePact #Sareepactandbeyond #SareeSpeak #Sareewithastory#Sareelove #Paithani

Husband decided to do something new and after 20 years with corporate America with a big financial firm switches to relatively small company. from a seasoned manager to a new employee - a programer for that matter. But he hasn’t been this happy in a long time work wise. A good change. 6 months have been a learning curve for him but a wonderful and happier months. the way a friend puts it - He has lost the worry frowns and gained some smile wrinkles.
So when time comes for Holiday Party I agreed to join him. It’s been a big change for me too. Knowing his team, colleagues and friends at work to totally new environment, not knowing anyone, what to expect. I knew people around him for years, hosted them home many many times, hung out with them often and here I did meet just handful of them in a summer party.
I decided to go to a new kind of party as me. Saree makes me feel alive, happy and a real Jaya. He showed me some pictures from last year party and it was nothing less than a glittery, formal and jazzy get together. I knew I would be the only one in Saree, as there are not too many Indians in the company unlike the pervious one. Decided to keep it classy and simple. A paithani comes out of closet.
As I walked in I realized hubby also doesn’t know most of the people, slowly we made our way in the crowd and I spotted another woman in a beautiful saree. Its not new that I notice fabric and weave before the person. and sure if it was one classy saree to notice. and funny how the saree made the connection between two strangers, Just like that. As we smiled each other she extended her hand, introduced her self and first things we talked about was how beautiful it was to see the other saree clad woman. Then the husband came in the conversation. Her husband was from the same place all my cousins are. I still marvel at the connection we made because of saree.
We took each others number and decided to meet and talk about our saree love. I so wish I had taken a pic with her.
This saree post is all about the happy coincidence and happier world. 

this Paithani is a gift from a dear friend family whom I connected because of my love for ghazals.
They went to visit Aurangabad. I introduced them to another friend in that town. They all became good friends. and I got this Paithani as a gift. Looks like I need to keep spreading friendship and happiness 🙂