Monday, September 21, 2020

Whats in the name - Naam me kya rakha hai.

A Conversation with my Mom

My mother finishes her evening tea in Bangalore and makes a phone call to her Pragya ( that’s me if you don’t know my nickname)

That is my early morning and god forbid if I sleep in then there are at least 2 missed call and then a VM. I so love those VM. She says the same thing - every time - “So rahi hai kya beta, phone ke thee” ( are you sleeping dear daughter, I had called you)

Usually that is my morning walk time before my work begins.

When I used to go to the office I would call her from the car. So we kind of continued that routine. Some normalcy in these uncertain times. 

We talk about anything and everything from what is cooking in my sister’s kitchen, their day, my yesterday, plan for my day, phone calls to and from family , news, friends whatever we think of. I show her the sun, the plants, any flowers that catches my attention ( as you all know by now- I love flowers, specially in my hair ) and sometime cars and the streets.

One of these days the conversation turned to books and I was so tempted to tell her how some books had made an impact in my life. At the same time I missed her not participating in that conversation, and all of a sudden the idea of sending her those books was born. I said -you made us read whatever you wanted, now time for me to get back at you. Read what I want you to read. Thank god for my sister and her Amazon India account. In just a couple of days 8 books were delivered. I told her to start one specific book to understand my life better. I warned her that every morning she has to tell me how far she was in the book. She should read at least a few pages everyday. My mom so wanted to read the books in Hindi but poor amma was afraid of her “dushta” daughter. “Will you take my viva bitiya (daughter)”she asked. She wanted to know if I was going to quiz her on her reading later. 

Can you guess what I made her read? She is still reading that book. Meanwhile I heard she has finished two hindi books already :)

Which one book could define you? Mine is The Namesake by Jhumpa Lahiri.


  Mother India reading - notice the cover on the book? thats how I remember my childhood, major production - cover all the books, no marks, use proper bookmark and take care.so many people can read after you.. I saw this pic and was joking if she was reading "adult books" hence the cover. :) 

Another Mother ( Ashish's aai) also a victim. Her parcel includes Marathi and Hindi Mix. 



A black Semi Paithani from Pune, 2012 memory. I went to pune with wounded leg. Had an accident in bangalore, I was alive that was a miracle. but I made up for my survival. Shopped like anything.  I didnt feel like paying so much for Paithani so the shopkeeper convinced me to buy this semi paithani. I was under "black" spell that year. Lot of black beauties came home with me. Wore it for an evening tea with some saree friends.








Sunday, September 20, 2020

Moms and their daughters - a relationship with many folds.

Incredible women raise amazing daughters. Lucky for them but what happens when the moms are gone, the daughters are distraught and all of sudden there is a void in their life. There is no replacement for a mother but what happens when you mother is your teacher, mentor, guide, best friend and confidant?

On the way back home I kept thinking of what a loss really means. Do we grieve the loss of the relationship, the person, their charisma, the existence of the person or just what they meant to us?

A dear friend lost her mother and today when I went to visit her I couldn’t think of anything else but a saree. Just to pay my respects . Strangely I didn’t even think that on a breezy, chilly day I wasn’t appropriately dressed. It just felt right. A tribute to a strong, amazing, incredible woman who loved sarees, I couldn’t think of anything else but a simple south cotton. I so wish we have had an opportunity to invite her just once to one of our saree meets. 

4 of us sat together to pay tribute to three amazing moms who raised amazing daughters. I was listening to their stories, grief and regrets and thinking about what I could do better with my mom who I am lucky enough to have . She is thousands of miles away but just a video call brings us closer. I can call her just about any time, talk to her, tell her all about my life, listen to her and share the mundane details of our lives. I am grateful more than ever that she is around. Today I want to thank those 3 friends, tell them how sorry I am for their loss but also grateful that they gently reminded me about how lucky I am.


I can write and write more about my mom and their moms and our conversation but right now I will pause and make you read this, a text from that friend-

"Tell your sister to give your mom a big hug from and for all of us" 


I am asking you do the same.. Hug your mom for and from us, tell her one more time she is loved.

Mother India and I - 2018 India trip - this is one of my fav pic - role reversal :)

SOTD -The simple Kanchi cotton with a kalakari print blouse.