Jaya's Ramblings....: Celebration

#100Sareepact #PactandBeyond #sareewithastory #Banarasi #SareeSpeaks #Celebration #50thAnniversary

When the invite came for Pushpaji’s 50th anniversary celebration there was no way I could RSVP any other way. She is the woman I adore, love, respect, admire. I wish I could find some more words to describe my feelings for her. I would so want to have her qualities when I am her age. She is always calm, composed, beautiful and utterly stylish. She can walk into a room and make things right just with her smile. I have known her for over 8 years now and cannot remember even one unhappy or unpleasant conversation. Never heard her talking ill of anyone, and her fashion sense.. uff that’s one thing to see and admire.. she can make anything look royal.

That morning I struggled with “what to wear”. For me the saree is always a tribute to the relationship, the person or the occasion. Decided to wear one of Mom’s banarasi Saree. My sister Varsha got it for her. This is a typical Banarasi, a bright color with the usual motifs on silk. Couple of years ago mom gave it to me as it was a little heavy for her. This was not her usual color palette and she knew her daughter is not shy of wearing anything. When I picked this saree I felt I would be over dressed for the party but I couldn’t think of anything else but mom’s love.

On the way to the venue I was thinking about the concept of marriage. What makes it work? My parents celebrated their 50th last year. My Mom saw (not met) my dad first time during the wedding, so I am sure these marriages didn’t begin with love. It was those rituals who made them feel “bound” or committed I guess. over the years love, understanding, respect grew. The more I think of it, the more I feel amazed about how little foundation that generation had to begin a life long commitment. One day I was having a conversation with Pushpaji and she mentioned she was 18 when she got married, my mom was in her early 20s and I was 24. 3 of us represent three different scenarios of marriage yet feel the same way about it in many ways.

Her 4 kids planned a wonderful party with many entertainments with the grandkids. They reached out to their mom’s wide network. I think if my sons will ever plan anything it will be a nightmare for them to keep track of their mom’s associations . I am sure Pushpaji’s kids went through the same thing. When I walked in I knew that each and every one in that room was her fan, we all were there to celebrate with them. I was thinking about the same for my parents. I went through the dilemma of whether we should have a big party for Ma-Papa for their 50th. While discussing this with my sisters I think I was the one who had cold feet. My parents live in Bangalore with my sister, they don’t have their friends and families there. Their world is in our home town and none of us had the energy, patience and time to do anything there. So we finally decided to make it very personal and 6 of us ( ma papa and their 4 daughters) went to Goa for a vacation. We had never done that before and we had a blast. I hope my parents did too but at that party I wondered if my parents would have loved this kind of celebration rather than that vacation.

On the way back from the party I was thinking about what it really means to have someone in our life and the question remains the same - what do we celebrate? the union? the marriage? the commitment? the ups and downs? the kids and grandkids? the journey? or the memories of good and bad times? the love and respect? or is it just a number and a date?

What do you think? What makes it work for you? what would you do differently if you could go back? What would you ask from your partner? what would you change? and what keeps you going?

This pic remains my fav for so many reasons

My parents and bua (aunt) in Varsha's wedding. My chacha- chachi did the Kanyadan ( giving away the bride) they have two sons so Varsha became their daughter.

Now I am noticing the saree they are giving to Varsha. time to raid her closet.