What was teen romace for you - Jagjit Singh and Shivani are mine

When I flew from Bangalore to Raipur few days ago, I didn’t have much stuff , for a change I really flew light. My check in bag was way within limit and my hand bag was 3 Kgs, Because the shoes couldn’t fit in check-in bag.

On the way back we had another story, I could use every inch and grams possible and much more.

The person on was Indigo counter was a happy young man, wasn’t cranky working at 7.30 AM.

That is one thing I find with indigo - very prompt service and young and energetic staff. . He was courteous and kind and ignored that I had little more stuff ( Little?).

Last night while we were packing It was overwhelming to see stuff all over the place. I wasn’t ready to leave anything behind but I was very tired and emotionally drained so decided to let it go.

Woke up in the middle of the night to join HMEA’s board meeting and then had a clarity about luggage. Isn’t it funny how brain resets after a break.

I exactly knew how to carry everything. Its is easier when you have a do-er sister and instruction follower brother in law. He didn’t question anything and just did what  asked for. By 7 AM we all were showered, dress, packed and had the breakfast. 

Once we reached airport the security and check in was smooth, I was surprised they didn’t ask for Covid negative test or vaccination proof. That did make me nervous. 

3 of us flying with all sort of stuff but interestingly local snacks claimed the prominent space .But for me the most precious things are Novel’s by Shivani. I read them in my teens, I guess her writing and Jagjit Singh’s ghazals raised the bar so high for anyone to fit in the perfect “lover” mold.

My dad kept them safe for over 26 plus years and my sister carried them from Balaghat for me. I bought them when I was in school/college. They were my Mills and Boons (Mills & Boon is series of a romance imprint from Britain ) and build an imaginary world for me.

When I went to bed last night, I kept them aside thinking it is just not worth carrying the weight. I should just get them on my Kindle. But this morning I woke-up with the need of hugging a piece of my past. Shivani’s writing had a place in my life, and this morning I realized it still does. My connection to my past holds a key to my happiness.

What is that connection for you? What do you have from your past, a book, some music, some art work or something else. 

 Heard Shivani is available on Kindle now. My idea of romance then

 I spotted the flower market on the road, had to stop to buy some. This is my idea of the romance now - flower on my hair. 

A new bride in the plane. 

My other mom - I so wish I had done this much earlier

My Jetlag is a blessing in disguise. I get a lot more time in hand than usual. I can spend time with people who stay up late and then wake up early to chat with early risers.

My sister in law has two sons, they work till late so they were my late night companions. We chatted after their work hours. My sister in law and Mother in law are early risers so I could enjoy their company without any interruptions.

I woke up earlier than usual , tried but just couldn’t sleep so came downstairs only to find my MIL waking up. We were having fun talking about our saree organizing saga a day before. 

When my sister in law started her morning prayers my MIL and I decided to go for a short walk. It was a beautiful morning with a light breeze and not many people on the road.  We found a place to sit and I am glad we did. The two of us sat on a bench and memories took the form of words. Her childhood, her life with her younger siblings, about her parents, then marriage and life with my father in law. She talked about happy and not so happy days, loss of a child, the joy of raising 3 wonderful children, the struggles she went though in her life, my father in law’s sickness and many more personal stories. As I was telling her about my mom and her wishes, I asked her what would she want to do and to my surprise my mother in law is very content with whatever she has. Very firm in her beliefs and hopes to go to the other world peacefully and quietly. She doesn’t need much and is just spending her time with prayers. She showed me some of her writings/Prayers( bhajans) she wrote. 

I have been married to her son for more than 26 years and today I had a glimpse of a different world. She did open up and talked about her views on rituals performed after death and what is important to her. I don’t think her own kids have had that conversation with her. I am leaving today with the hope that I come back soon to spend more time with her. We both have come a long way and one thing binds us together even more - the love for the man we have in common. 

Her companion, always around her.

Cleaning a closet - A therapy in itself - India Trip Saga

If you know me personally or read anything I write you know my love for Sarees. They play an integral role in my life. You may not know another thing about me, I love “organizing” anything, it can be an event, closets or the kitchen or a trip or a get together. I think I enjoy the “look” of the final product - the instant gratification. You can see the change right away.

This trip is all about both the moms, mine and my husband's. So when I came to Durg to visit my mother in law (who lives with my sister in law) there wasn’t anything  in my agenda. I just wanted to stay home and spend time with her.

The day I landed  I enjoyed chatting, eating and talking, it was a wonderful day. I reached home mid day. 

There is another thing about me - I cannot “not do things” so the next morning I started my day with a mission - Organizing my Sister In law’s Saree closet. She used to be a teacher (I was her first student, another fun fact about our relationship) and loves Saree so you can imagine. She has a huge collection of beautiful sarees. 

She is always on the go, even with recent retirement she is running the household with 3 generations, doing a lot of stuff in her social and spiritual circle, she never has the time. Also her stuff is not only in her room, but her Moms and mother in law’s room and in the room her sons are working in.

Both of her grown sons are working from home due to the pandemic. So her day is spent taking care of two sets of Moms, the 3 men in her life and a German Shepherd. Sorting and organizing sarees has no place in her life.

This morning I brought her saees to her bedroom from everywhere, went through each and every saree, looked for matching blouses and petticoats,  discarded the old and faded ones or the ones she didn’t want in her closet anymore, sorted and made piles to give away, donate, recycle and to gift.  The project lasted the whole day. I could see how easy it was for her to give away some and hard to part ways with others.I told her about Marie Kondo’s happiness philosophy.

It was fun to see that she didn’t think twice about many of her sarees but was holding on to blouses. 

Now to think of it, as I was cleaning the closet, we were sorting our lives and relationships as well. We talked about so many things in her, mine and our lives. She has known me for over 36 years and yet we discovered so many new sides of our personalities. My mother in law sat and watched her crazy daughter in law going through stacks and stacks patiently. All 4 women in the household were going through their life stories, heartaches as well as happy memories. Sarees have a way to make you want to talk I tell you.

My poor brother in law was horrified wondering if he will ever be allowed in that bedroom. 

By the time I finished I was dead tired but extremely happy. She has all her sarees accounted for, happily united with their long lost blouses and all the petticoats in one place. There is a big pile of Sarees ready to say good bye to.

I am just concerned of those “forcefully” separated blouses, have to make sure they don’t find their way back in the closet. And yes if you are wondering, I did get a couple of sarees from that stock. Are you surprised? If you know me well, that was the game plan to begin with anyway. : ) 

My darling nephew caught me in action, I would have worn saree if I knew this :) 

The calm before storm - a day before we 3 Pandey women were talking about various things and the closet cleaning idea was born :) 

a glimpse of one part of the closet

While we were busy doing our thing, My darling brother in law was busy making Shrikhand for me, A dish on demand. He is a very organized and clean person but couldn't manage the Saree closet. I think it was his way of showing how happy he was :) 

What do religion and religious beliefs mean to you

On an early Wednesday morning I am sitting here in my Sister in law’s puja room. The music system is playing the shlokas, I observe her getting ready for her morning prayers with a calm on her face. She is quiet and in her own world.

She lives in a full indian household with her husband, her mother in law, her mother (my mother in law) and now the pandemic has brought her two grown sons too who have been working from home. 

I have known her for over 35 plus years and she has always been religious and spiritual. I wonder what would a degree in philosophy would have done to her instead of her Masters in Mathematics . She was a teacher and took retirement recently to focus on her well being and take things easy. 

My jet lag kicked in and I was up in the wee hours. So I decided to come downstairs only to find her all showered and getting ready for her morning rituals. She joked that this is “my time”. It’s a good start to my day before rush hours she said . I wonder what these prayers do for her. She runs a full household, rushing from one chore to the next, taking care of 3 generations and a German Shepard. How does that time help her?

Does she forget the world and practice mindfulness or does her mind wander,  thinking anout breakfast preparation, planning or does she go over yesterday’s events or she thinks about the future while she is sitting in front of a small temple she has in her home.

What is your morning ritual, how do you start your day, how do you keep calm and get ready to handle the day. 

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Imagine the scene - My mom in law making garland, Me on the side couch and my sister in law doing her thing and her another son - Bruno. The dog leaves his room in the morning and stays till she finishes her prayers and awaits for prasad 

Multicultral Ganpati - Modak and Pongal are the same - "prasadam"

My sisters live in a self contained community in Bangalore and it feels like you are in another world. It’s a long drive from airport but then you don’t need anything if you are not missing the city. hey have their own store, restaurants and some day today needs, all the household helpers live within. Its like a city within the city

Last Sunday they had Ganesh festival in the community center.

I saw cultural integration in its full form. 

When we walked in they were playing drums in a very South Indian style. The North Indian woman in me couldn’t associated that sound with Ganesh Festival. Soon the crowd was chanting the mantras we grew up with. A South Indian panditji performing prayers, lots of North Indians singing prayers in their languages, a variety of offerings from all over India, all sort of flowers, young kids running around in their traditional attire. My evening was heavenly.

By the time the prayers got over it started raining. Seeing kids playing in the rain was so much fun. They inspired us to enjoy it too and we sisters decided to walk home in the rain.

I borrowed a cotton Paithani from Mom’s closet. My sisters in linen and Bengal silk cotton .

To go or not to go - India trip 2021

For me a trip to India has always meant excitement, fun, vacation and meeting family. From booking the tickets to making lists and then shopping and packing and planning has always been fun. I have been living out of India for 25 years now and it was always the same but this time it was totally different.

COVID changed life for everyone, we all got something good and bad out of it. We were in India in Jan 2020 so it was okay for a year or so. I didn’t crave a visit and COVID and work from home gave me more chance to connect with everyone. FaceTime and Zoom became an integral part of our life. I could video chat with my mom everyday.

But after a year and a half COVID fatigue hit everyone and things went downhill. This  fall many things changed and we were impacted by it too. My parents decided to go to our home town for some time and my mom didn’t do very well health wise. During that time I just got a thought and I decided to keep my fears aside and decided to go see her.

This trip was different, not many plans are made, not many lists were exchanged, I didn’t talk much about my India trip and shopping was mostly from Costco and Amazon. 

Everything had some kind of dullness but slowly it warmed up. I could overcome my anxiety and decided to enjoy my time with family. Some of the friends who have been to India during this time were a big help and very supportive. One of the doctor friend gave me hospital masks with instructions. 

Finally the day came, it was an  11 PM flight so I had the whole day. 

After work two friends came and it was a much needed break. The tea together was comforting and and very relaxing. One of them made yogurt rice for my dinner at the airport. If you are planning to travel you must do this. Take food from home and eat before the flight so you are not rushing to eat when everyone is eating on the plane. You can eat after everyone is done and masked. Also get the surgical masks, your glassed won’t fog as much.

With no kids at home the house was much cleaner and calmer . The fridge didn’t have much to clean.

We left home to pick up Ajey, spent some time there before we headed out to the airport which was very close.

When I walked in I was shocked to see no lines . I was 3 hours early for the flight but still had never seen this airport so quiet . My checking in was a breeze. My home weighing scale was perfect so there wasn’t any issue with the suitcases. They were just right 50.5 and 51 lbs :) I got out of the airport with the boys. Ashish got the parking right outside the entrance , so unusual. We could see how COVID has changed everything for travelers . No one in their right mind would travel right now a friend had said. Well I was trying to keep my mind in the right place.  The weather was so perfect which I didn’t notice till then. I am glad I went out with them.

Security was totally empty too, I have traveled so many times to India but I had never seen anything like this. Empty airport. Well I am not complaining, having the whole area to myself was helpful. I could make phone calls while walking and not worrying about social distancing. The flight was easy and smooth and felt very safe.

Dubai Airport was empty, safe and comforting. The break was short and Duty free shops are open.

Another post about the Bangalore airport Saga. is Here 

My sisters came to pick me up at the airport, waited patiently when it took more than 2 hours to come out.

and it was all worth it 

Travel Saga - If you are flying from Boston to India Via Dubai - India 2021

Note - this is my experience as of Sept 15th, 2021, things can change, please go through CDC guidelines and Indian Governments's requirements 

I flew on Wednesday late night  (9/15) night from Boston. The Logan airport was so empty, the reality of new travel. My fight was @ 11 PM so that too might be the reason. 

I was there by 8.10 PM, At the check they checked Visa,  PCR test, and Self declaration form on Air Suvidha (Take a print out of both) 

That can happen for international travel if you are early but the biggest surprise of all was very smooth security check. If you have flown through Boston before it always has been busy.

After security, there wasn’t anything going on, I could go to the gate. The restaurant were mostly closed.Keep the print out handy, they can ask again at the gate.

The Emirates is flying on its limited capacity with mask mandate. It was Wednesday night too. They are trying to keep two seats between two passanger, I got the whole 3 seat row to my self and could sleep on my longer stretch of the travel, which I am grateful for. The food was warm and served as usual, not boxed. I ate at the airport before flying ( home cooked) so I ate after everyone ate and wore their mask again

Dubai Airport - again was quiet, very empty, the security check was easier. Again checked the PCR test and Self declaration form ( Air Suvidha). All the Duty Free shops are open. It was a short stop over.

The flight from Dubai from Bangalore was busier than the previous but still again lot emptier than usual.

I was talking to the stewardess and they confirmed that flights are flying with reduced capacity.

I got the window seat and the other person was on the aisle. An empty seat in between but again it was his family of 4 sat in the middle row that might be the reason, the plane was pretty empty.

Real fun began at the Bengaluru Airport, it was easy to get out of the plane because of no crowd but there are few procedures in place.

The first is COVID test ( a very long line, no social distancing but everyone wearing mask), end of the line they gave me a registration form , test is mouth swab and nasal swab. Take a pic of that form because they will take it back. After the test they ask for self declaration form, then another line to pay 800 Rs for test ( I used my card) then final stop was temperature check. I just felt this whole process was in place for a reason, just time consuming and tiring. After all that the immigration was super easy because not much line there. But after immigration there was a long time for cabin baggage check. It was really slow and I wasn’t sure if they were even paying attention. 2 international flight ( at least) and only one scanner was working. By the time I got out my check in bags were already out from the belt that was very helpful and no-one stopped me at customs. It took me close to two hours to get out of the airport. 

I got the email after few hours that test was negative ( I think they have the email from Air Suvidha) and my sister got a test result as text ( I gave her number as India contact) little later.

f you must fly

Fly weekday

Printout of PCR test and Self Declaration form ( Air Suvidha)

Check with the airline about their specific requirements

Keep hour and half in hand in Bengaluru after landing.

Keep your own water bottle and get some water from the plane

Empty lines @ Emirates counter

and Quatar Airways was a different story all together. I guess I was too early :)

B777  - A wonderful staff

@Dubai Airport

Dubai Airport 

On my way to Bangalore from Dubai 

welcome to India :) - Worth every trouble.

The line for scanner, heard Indian authorities are struggling with drugs coming in. also they are extremely tired. we all worked from home but these people didn't have that luxury so please be kind to the staff. They are doing whatever they can to make our life easy but we cannot comprehend what they go through.