India 2019-2020 Day - 1 Home coming

India trip means many things - 

Its a whole different meaning of planning, shopping, packing and then travel. These 4 things take over mostly the real part (Vacation) some times.

A wedding in the family so Pandeys were all booked for India trip. These few months have  witnessed the excitement. I think I couldn’t go through even a day without talking about this trip. I think I have started thinking, planning and shopping before the tickets were booked. My sarees were bought even before the bride’s started her shopping.

The last week of travel has seen anxiety, excitement, joy, and sleepless nights. The Indian Government had made some changes in OCI (overseas citizens of India) travel policy and that was enough for headache for many of us holiday time travelers.

I was traveling alone and the boys will come week after. The night before I was in much better place, having clear idea about Visa and Travel scenario, packing done for all of us. Boys leaving after me is still giving me jitters. the farewell dinner was served with finest scotch and that was a good start.

I am lucky to have wonderful friends in my life so next morning was amazing with home cooked idlees, sambhar and chutney by one of them. Anand was very clear that he would go to drop me with dad so a quick stop to pick him up at school and we were off to airport. My mind was full of emotion, the excitement, joy of seeing my parents and family, anxiety of leaving the boys and travel and non stop todo list. when I walked in for checking- in I was offered $800 if I travel a day after. apparently the flight was overbooked. as usual my mind was not able to decide and the man made it very easy saying uber is my option for next day :) I think seeing mom and dad sooner took over the greed of $800.

The flight was packed and I had a window seat. The next several hours were spent chatting, sleeping and watching a movie. Two Students from Boston were going home (Germany) for holiday break. Watched  The Aftermath and managed couple of hours of sleep. A wonderful air hotsess Jana was a delight to talk to. I learnt so much about Frankfurt and Germany in that 15 minutes conversation. She got to learn about shopping in Bangalore from me. I wish I had a way of knowing what did she do on her day in Bangalore this trip. 

The layover in Germany was a drag. With 7+ hours layover I had planned to go  out and explore the city. Conversation with Jana sure helped me. I was in line for immigration when I realized that it was pouring outside and I wasn’t dressed for a wet day. so I ended up staying in Z terminal of the airport. I wish I had stayed in the terminal I was in. you have to take the tram for this terminal and it is busier and has less space to rest. after a long walk, wandering around the airport I had a very tasty Panini and found a place to rest and took a nap. On a crowded place I managed to find 3 empty seats and without worrying, stretched my legs and slept. The memories of sleeping on a train travel when you put our head on the handbag and just dose off.

finally it was time for second flight. I got an isle seat this time. unlike my previous flight it was full of desi crowd. A mom and her cute 10 yrs old daughter J were next to me. They were going home for some family function. The flight was long but was very entertaining. Two of women chatting over life away from home, families, sisters, neighbors, work, the life in Germany and USA and in India and then it became all about Sarees. I think she had overdose of Saree knowledge. Her mom’s closet in trouble this time. she will go to Saree Store with a totally different eyes this time. I really had such wonderful time in this flight, though it was longer.

the check in was so smooth in Boston but the last thing of the journey was long and tiring. the immigration was quick so I was at the luggage belt very soon but my luggage came so very late. Standing next to the belt and thinking  mine is just next to come out of that door. Air France had lost my bag once so that experience is always on my mind. The wait was over and finally I could leave the airport. the best part was seeing my sister and Brother in law outside. I totally forgot how tired I was, seeing them made this worth. and guess what the home made paratha made the long drive fun. 

The drop off company 

The best dinner that night Saboodana Khichadi, dont get fooled by bowl size.It was refilled many times  ;) 

  

Sunny Boston  

Terminal Z . Z for Zoo.. 

 Rainy Frankfurt 

Banaglore .. be ready for me 

                            and the best part.. Seema and Jay right there .. made the long flight worth

Holiday party and unexpected coincidences

#100SareePact #Sareepactandbeyond #SareeSpeak #Sareewithastory#Sareelove #Paithani

Husband decided to do something new and after 20 years with corporate America with a big financial firm switches to relatively small company. from a seasoned manager to a new employee - a programer for that matter. But he hasn’t been this happy in a long time work wise. A good change. 6 months have been a learning curve for him but a wonderful and happier months. the way a friend puts it - He has lost the worry frowns and gained some smile wrinkles.
So when time comes for Holiday Party I agreed to join him. It’s been a big change for me too. Knowing his team, colleagues and friends at work to totally new environment, not knowing anyone, what to expect. I knew people around him for years, hosted them home many many times, hung out with them often and here I did meet just handful of them in a summer party.
I decided to go to a new kind of party as me. Saree makes me feel alive, happy and a real Jaya. He showed me some pictures from last year party and it was nothing less than a glittery, formal and jazzy get together. I knew I would be the only one in Saree, as there are not too many Indians in the company unlike the pervious one. Decided to keep it classy and simple. A paithani comes out of closet.
As I walked in I realized hubby also doesn’t know most of the people, slowly we made our way in the crowd and I spotted another woman in a beautiful saree. Its not new that I notice fabric and weave before the person. and sure if it was one classy saree to notice. and funny how the saree made the connection between two strangers, Just like that. As we smiled each other she extended her hand, introduced her self and first things we talked about was how beautiful it was to see the other saree clad woman. Then the husband came in the conversation. Her husband was from the same place all my cousins are. I still marvel at the connection we made because of saree.
We took each others number and decided to meet and talk about our saree love. I so wish I had taken a pic with her.
This saree post is all about the happy coincidence and happier world. 

this Paithani is a gift from a dear friend family whom I connected because of my love for ghazals.
They went to visit Aurangabad. I introduced them to another friend in that town. They all became good friends. and I got this Paithani as a gift. Looks like I need to keep spreading friendship and happiness 🙂

Celebration - Our own style

#100Sareepact #PactandBeyond #sareewithastory #Banarasi #SareeSpeaks #Celebration #50thAnniversary 

When the invite came for Pushpaji’s 50th anniversary celebration there was no way I could RSVP any other way. She is the woman I adore, love, respect, admire. I wish I could find some more words to describe my feelings for her. I would so want to have her qualities when I am her age. She is always calm, composed, beautiful and utterly stylish. She can walk into a room and make things right just with her smile. I have known her for over 8 years now and cannot remember even one unhappy or  unpleasant conversation. Never heard her talking ill of anyone, and her fashion sense.. uff that’s one thing to see and admire.. she can make anything look royal.

 That morning I struggled with “what to wear”.  For me the saree is always a tribute to the relationship, the person or the occasion. Decided to wear one of Mom’s banarasi Saree. My sister Varsha got it for her. This is a typical Banarasi, a bright color with the usual motifs on silk. Couple of years ago mom gave it to me as it was a little heavy for her. This was not her usual color palette and she knew her daughter is not shy of wearing anything. When I picked this saree I felt I would be over dressed for the party but I couldn’t think of anything else but mom’s love. 

On the way to the venue I was thinking about the concept of marriage. What makes it work? My parents celebrated their 50th last year. My Mom saw (not met) my dad first time during the wedding, so I am sure these marriages didn’t begin with love. It was those rituals who made them feel “bound” or committed I guess. over the years love, understanding, respect grew. The more I think of it, the more I feel amazed about how little foundation that generation had to begin a life long commitment. One day I was having a conversation with Pushpaji and she mentioned she was 18 when she got married, my mom was in her early 20s and I was 24. 3 of us represent three different scenarios of marriage yet feel the same way about it in many ways. 

Her 4 kids planned a wonderful party with many entertainments with the grandkids. They reached out to their mom’s wide network. I think if my sons will ever plan anything it will be a nightmare for them to keep track of their mom’s associations . I am sure Pushpaji’s kids went through the same thing. When I walked in I knew that each and every one in that room was her fan, we all were there to celebrate with them. I was thinking about the same for my parents. I went through the dilemma of whether we should have a big party  for Ma-Papa for their 50th. While discussing this with my sisters I think I was the one who had cold feet. My parents live in Bangalore with my sister, they don’t have their friends and families there. Their world is in our home town and none of us had the energy, patience and time to do anything there. So we finally decided to make it very personal and 6 of us ( ma papa and their 4 daughters) went to Goa for a vacation. We had never done that before and we had a blast. I hope my parents did too but at that party I wondered if my parents would have loved this kind of celebration rather than that vacation. 

On the way back from the party I was thinking about what it really means to have someone in  our life and the question remains the same - what do we celebrate? the union? the marriage? the commitment? the ups and downs? the kids and grandkids? the journey? or the memories of good and bad times? the love and respect? or is it just a number and a date?

What do you think? What makes it work for you? what would you do differently if you could go back? What would you ask from your partner? what would you change? and what keeps you going?

This pic remains my fav for so many reasons 

My parents and bua (aunt) in Varsha's wedding. My chacha- chachi did the Kanyadan ( giving away the bride) they have two sons so Varsha became their daughter. 

Now I am noticing the saree they are giving to Varsha. time to raid her closet.

My mom Welcoming her Son in law.. this is the memory of this saree for me. How happy she was.

and here I am - 10+ years later that Saree comes out to celebrate another marriage. From Balaghat to Boston.. 

a life, an experience and some more..

Oct 11th Saturday.

This morning I want to think about my Friday shenanigans and I wonder how 16 hours can hold so many things in one go.

Friday evening was tentatively booked for a rehearsal and it’a long weekend for boys. So I decided not to do anything else and just be with them. Knowing very well it will mom overload for them I didn’t plan to take a day off on Monday. 

Rehearsal fell through and it saved me more than 2 hours on road on a rainy Friday. Ashish was home by 1. It was nice to have him home for lunch without boys on a working Friday. Ajey decided to go for an event in the city. Anand just wanted to stay home and play, Ashish has planned to go for whisky tasting while I was gone for rehearsal. I decided to be his uber driver.I had promised a friend to drop their guests from Station to their home on our way.

And then you know – you decide and plan and something else happen. Google can plan your map but not the timing. The rained got the train delayed and it made me change everything.  The couple stood on the other side of the platform and we were looking for them on another side. Dark rainy night and spotty signal it was interesting 10 minutes to say the least. Finally we found them and I decided to drop Ashish and then them and will go back to the tasting.

The plan for perfect driving wise, little I knew I would never make to the tasting on time. I was high on something else.

We had our introduction in the car and got to know about their families. When she asked me to not just rush and stay with them for a little bit I agreed. Ad that hour flew like seconds. Her story was one of very progressive stories I have heard. For now I will call her FB.

Imagine a scene – you are spending time with your parents outside India gate in Mumbai and suddenly a gentleman who is in transit for 10 hours in India meets you and spend some time with family and then offers the girl a chance to study in America, in early sixties. What are the odds you meet someone by chance and it changes your life forever. A baby girl in a very big household (10 siblings she said, she had to really work hard to make it happen. It was fascinating to hear the events led to her arrival in Bay Path University here in MA for two years course. But more than that I was fascinated her trip details of 90 days in $99 bus deal and her travel across America with one college mate.  A 20+yrs old girl, traveling across America with a Swedish friend.

I think I am very organized and get things done woman but I was in awe how she planned and managed to travel, find accommodations in those 25-30 places she visited. To add to that on the way back to India she found an opportunity to board ship to England for minimal changes and used her return ticket’s left over mileage to travel in Europe. She stayed with friends in Europe she made during those 10 days on the ship. Imagine no social media, phone or any other form of communication and this girl from India already had discovered how to connect with people.

There is much more to her life later, she moved back to India, worked, got married a family friend. In her Seventies, she still has that spark and I can see the pride and excitement when she talked about those day. The gratitude for the man who changed her life, the opportunity to make it big and better, taking it to another level with her courage and thinking beyond the box. She lived a wonderful life in India but made it back to United states when kids had to go to college here.

I am so glad that my friend was busy that evening so I could meet them.

To give my share to her story I promised her that I will find her travel mate for her whom she lost contact after 30 yrs of friendship. Lets see If I can make it happen.

Once I got the text from Ashish I realize we were lost in time. while coming back home I was thinking how amazing this beautiful life is when we meet people and learn so much more.

To make it even better I stayed up till 2 AM to watch a series called “Family Man” one of best made show in Indian cinema. I am not much a TV woman to say the least. I could watch 7 episodes in one go. My Friday was one of the best to say  I have no regrets of missing that whisky tasting. I was high on an incredible story.

and some pictures are just magical - represent hope, love, joy and happiness.

Mother's day.. in Ajey's word.

I posted something last year about a saree. I came across today and decided to make a blogpost about it.

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Posted on May 14th 2018 on Facebook.

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I am vacationing in KeyWest with husband, kids are home and wore this saree just for me, I am not much of “day” or “favorite “ kind of woman.Everyday is “Mothers Day” for me .
But then I read this - my older son’s post - and this saree all of sudden becomes my “mothers day saree”
As you might know my younger son has autism so life is not the same as you would imagine.
More on this - MomLovesAnand.blogspot.com
Ajey writes-
It’s fitting that my mother is spending her Mother’s Day on vacation—not her usual breakneck sight-seeing vacation, but a bona-fide relaxing trip to Florida.

She’s a woman at a crossroads. Her older son is on the final stretch of college, her younger son is almost graduating high school, and she personally has devoted more and more time to organizing mothers in Massachusetts, to writing both for herself and for larger organizations.

And, understandably, it’s a strange time for her. It’s new for her to go on a trip with her husband, leave both of her children home, and trust that those two ruffians have enough sense not to get pizza for every meal.

My mother still has time before she becomes an empty-nester, before she must decide where her career goes next. But change comes more quickly than anyone expects, even for someone who always, always has a plan for everything.

I don’t know what my mother will be up to next year. But I’m excited to see where she ends up.

Celebration- so far and beyond.

This morning I was talking to a friend about saree ( what else : ) ) and I was joking that  I am so ready for my nieces and nephews to get married so I can wear nice sarees. Which turned the conversation to “the things we miss about India”. Many wedding invites from friends and family just get ignored. If we were there we would have been part of so many weddings. I have been thinking about this wedding fever for the past few days. I am at the age where many of my school friends are getting ready to become in laws. Many of my high school friends are planning a reunion at a friend’s daughter’s wedding. Imagine.. Many of the mausis( aunts) are more excited than the bride, because they will get to meet many old friends after many years.
Last week my cousin got married, the youngest of the clan. He was 6 or 7 when we left India. But his mom, my chachi has always been my darling. Their home is my “mayka (mom’s home)” when I am in Durg, a meeting place for all of us cousins.
His wedding was again a reminder of our reality, that distance does matter in some ways. Many of my cousins got together and it was fun to see them together . They all had fun and shared some with us. With Whatsapp calls and Facetime many of us could join the celebration. The time difference didn’t matter, neither did the distance. They were having sangeet(music) celebration and here I was in my pajamas making chai. Nani(mother’s mother) dancing with Shaival on “kajara muhhabat wala” will remain my favorite memory of the wedding.
My Facetime luxury enabled me to enjoy the conversation and fun going on there. Technology has really changed our lives in many ways.I could see and comment on everyone’s saree in real time. I didn’t have to wait for pictures to come the next day. I saw my mom and chachis and bua together, saw the nieces and nephews dancing and having fun with the older generation. Many of them look just like their parents did when they were of that age. It took me back in time.
Two years ago I was in Durg for a day at Chacha’s and Shaival got me this beautiful off white saree. It was an emotional day, I had a hard time accepting a gift from my baby brother. But chachi could convince me that it’s a good sign that the younger brother is earning . I should accept it as a good omen. Somehow that saree remained in my closet for more than two years. Finally, on his wedding day I wore it to a musical meet. I couldn’t be happier for all of us. I felt so close to home wearing that saree. Now I am so glad I waited this long. This saree will always remind me of the love of cousins.
Chacha - Dads brother
Chachi – Dad’s younger brother’s wife (Aunt)
Bua – Dad’s sister
#100Sareepactandbeyond #100sareepact #Sareestory #cousin #wedding #family #Ilovemycousin #memories #sareespeak

Once Again - a Netflix production

I practically forced everyone around me to watch this movie. I am in my late forties so it’s so easy to relate to everything about Once Again. I could tirelessly explain why one should watch it but was hesitating writing about it. I still am afraid I cannot do justice to the review of everything about Once Again. 

The movie is all about Tara, it’s very difficult for me to separate Tara from Shefali. I adored Shefali since “Hasraten” days ages ago but after this movie it will be very hard for me to imagine her in any other form. That’s why I thought of writing this before I start watching Delhi Crime. I am sure with her talent she will totally be the Vartika Chaturvedi. I am not yet ready to part ways with Tara, hence the difficult wait for Delhi Crime.

If I could pick one thing in this movie, It’s all in her eyes. She can express rage, sadness, tears love and romance as well with the same intensity just through her eyes. She didn’t have to talk and her silence spoke very loud and clear. I come back to her eyes so often and every time they portray something different, love, longing, loneliness and passion and hopes. I can go on and on about her and Tara. I watch movie in parts frequently and every time I discover something new through her eyes.

Neeraj’s character and his personality talks tons about his own loneliness and dilemma, struggle to find himself and to choose what he wants, what he should do and what is right and wrong. Many of us deal with it every day in and out. So close to our own struggle. His fear of commitment yet the very need to have that. But as a very mature actor he just takes you in his journey and you cannot do anything but fall for him.

Their chemistry between Neeraj and Shefali is so profound that soon I lost myself in it. You so wish you would feel this way looking at someone. I think I had butterfly in my stomach when they were cooking together in his kitchen. The scene on the poster, when she makes him smell the coriander I was totally lost. I could watch that scene 100 times. At one moment, they were talking about their apprehension, life and past and at the same minute it’s all goes away and affection kicks in.

Music – is such a binding force in movie but strangely I found it speaking to me in my second run of the movie, the very next day. Talvin Singh’s music is all around you, it’s so soothing that it feels just part of whatever is going on screen. Hamsika Iyer’s “tu hi to hai” makes you believe in richness of melody and music all over again. If you have heard Kiven Mukhare by Nusrat Sahab you know how difficult it is to match anything he ever sang, but Magar Ali brings such freshness to this difficult rendition. A brilliant composer uses everyday sound to such perfection. My favorite part is when Tara sings Jagjit Singh’s ghazal. “Baat niklegi to phir door talka jayegi”.

The direction is refreshing. Loved how the soul of Mumbai is present in every frame. The everyday life, sound, people and events are captured very well and soon become part of Tara and Amar’s story. The sound of grinding spices, crowd, waves, street food, vendors, frying pan and everything in life is just like an actor in the movie. Kudos to the director.

And now about my craziness for sarees, I could just watch Shefali in awe. Kirti Kolwankar - you are simply amazing. The wardrobe, I can imagine myself wearing each and every saree Shefali wore in the movie. She made the simple cotton sarees look amazing. The grace and style Shefali and Kirti bring to screen is beyond words. Those simple earing and necklaces Shefali wore are just there to add the beauty to her character not to overpower. There are times when I just watch the sarees on screen. I know the sarees and colors I am buying in India during my next trip. 

I would recommend this movie to everyone over 40, a must watch, to find yourself, to rediscover passion, to look into life differently, to wear sarees and to give life another chance.. to fall in love once again.

Trailer Here

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KBcfQNMR180