Written on Feb 14th - Please know this is my opinion. I am happy for people who find happiness in small gesture. I do wish you all happiness, love and everything else in that package :) be it chocolate, roses and gifts :)
I am trying to figure ot what kind of person I am - On this so called “day assigned for love”. Last night during a program When I recited Faiz, a friends called me a romantic , at the same time the talks about expressing love on valentine day made me feel very strange. I don’t even know how to respond to - “happy valentines day”.
I always had the logic - why just one day? I want love throughout the year.
What is love and why expressing it in a certain way matters? Over the years the meaning of love changes. I certainly feel that some attributes are evolving over time. Many of the “musts” are changing into "may be" and many “optionals” are taking over. Heart and brain are becoming equal partners and any decision should justify both.
I certainly feel that in my lifetime I have changed how I look at love or I would say expressions of love. I have always been an old soul in some ways and a rebel in others . Flowers, chocolates and gifts were never the way to my heart then but now I do love flowers once a while and see the thoughtfulness behind a gift. But they cannot substitute the feeling of respect and of being valued. A fancy dinner cannot be the way to my heart but a thoughtful and stimulating conversation can draw my attention. So the question again pops up - what makes our heart melt.
Someone I value and respect explained beautifully that "you really dont have to keep saying “I love you” all the time. reminding to put the seatbelt on, asking someone to take some rest or serving food- all these are million ways to express the love.You just have to listen. Love means finding its way to make things woks when everything else is failing."
How subtle but meaningful this explanation is and that is true for every relationship. It didn’t make sense then but 2020 really showed me how to read and listen to those tidbits in our everyday life.
I woke up to a beautifully done breakfast. There were no chocolates and flowers but the breakfast really won over my heart and soul- the gesture behind it. Anand decided he didn’t want to do anything with Dad’s fancy cooking but the rest 3 of us Pandeys had a fabulous morning. Ajey decided to go for a long drive and Ashish found refuge in TV in the basement. For a change I came into the kitchen and cooked while listening to Jagjit Singh, my refuge from my own struggle with various emotions going on in my own world.
A friend called to tell me she appreciates and loves having me in her life -"I am calling you to let you know- you are one of the valentines in my life". I think that made more sense to me than those "happy valentines day" msgs.
After a long time today 4 of us friends were meeting for an afternoon tea. I stopped to see another one on the way, a very short but very fulfilling visit. The conversations that day call for another post - some other day.
Today it’s all about meaning of love in form of respect and reciprocation. Wish you all a combination of love, hugs, care, respect, support and understanding - today, tomorrow and always.
A saree gift from my Brother in Law- Jay
PC Deepali Khanzode @Winchester MA
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