Tragedy strikes and strangely it brings people together

Last year when we were dealing with COVID here in USA, It was just scary and nerve racking but still we all were doing okay. We had shelter, fresh air and space to walk. We didn’t have a “complete lockdown,” we were not “locked in” but we were taking precautions and living our life. It was Spring so we all could at least meet outside and by the time winter hit the East Coast we had a handle on the situation and there was hope.

Winter brought the conditional lockdown ( because of the cold) but not because of COVID for many of us. It brought major changes in politics and attitude and lifestyle for all of us. As I look back on this day in May - I feel we survived.

BUT now we all are more anxious than ever, frustrated, sad, angry and worried because it’s our families across the continents who are dealing with the COVID havoc. It is hitting home and on top of that it has gotten worse over the year and things are not getting better. Everyone I know knows someone who has lost family or is suffering from Covid.

Today I went to a memorial service. The son and daughter in law struggled with the severity of the situation and still couldn’t go to be with the father.  All these years majority of us, Non Resident Indians never had this kind of restriction. Not being able to hop on a plane and just go when your family needs you most, when you are losing parents. I cannot even imagine  what they went through. I wish I had words to console them. I know “I was not there” will haunt them forever.

When I walked in the prayer was over so everyone was  coming down for langar ( food) but I sat in the main prayer room alone for some time and all I could think of the crazy times we are all living in. When would this end?  I am not religious but it didn’t stop me from questioning what that superpower is looking for.

I stayed afterwards and was observing how grief works as a connector in a way. It was a sunny and warm day, Most of us are vaccinated or half way through and things are looking better going forward. So people were inside after like almost 14 months, meeting people they couldn’t for over a year. The friends hugged, shared their stories and fears, everyone is worried about their parents and families. There were laughter, tears, hugs and care. 

The close friends got together in the gurudvara and cooked for all the guests, took part in prayers and then distributed lunch, sorted the leftovers and cleaned. I was in awe of how things worked so smoothly. The family didn’t have to worry about anything. It was like an assembly line. People doing whatever they could and before you noticed everything was all cleaned up. 

My mind was wandering all over how comforting it was to see them together working side by side and knowing they all are there for each other. 

I hope the family finds solace in knowing that they are not alone.

A pochampalli Ikat gift from a Saree friend. Simple cotton for a perfect sunny warm day.

 I wish I had taken some more pictures I will remember this for long time. Such comfort in knowing there are people to hold you together when you are having hard time. Someone is there to help you get through this time. 

Lunch to go 

Most of these pics are from a friend

Anand decided to celebrate one milestone - we all are vaccinated - Fully Vac Fam.

No time like this - but there is silver lining. My sister and brother in law are one of them.

All of us are fighting our own battle and some time we get to caught up that we forget to see beyond our world. few of us keep their own struggle aside to help out others, My darling sister is one of them. We have always known that she is a “do-er” but most of the time she won’t give us much detail. Posting on social media is not her thing, Her oldest sister Jaya ( your truly) is loud enough on facebook.

Today I received this msg on one of our cousin group. Someone  posted in Maithil Samaj ( the community my parents belong to)

My heart is so full. Too many sad news in recent time, lost uncles, aunts and cousins but this my friend - right here is the hope that this shall too pass.

आर्सेलर मित्तल निप्पन स्टील की कार्पोरेटर अफेयर्स की छत्तीसगढ़  हेड रहीं श्रीमती वर्षा झा और उनके जीवन सहचर  श्री पवन झा ने 2021 के अपने 365 दिन मे से 65 दिन लोगों की नि:स्वार्थ मदद करने के नाम से  समर्पित किया । 3 जून को उनका इस कार्य को करते हुए 65 वां दिन होगा। 

Chhattisgarh (Bastar 5 district, Raipur, Bilasapur) Bihar, Jharkhand,   Bengaluru,AP और telangana, Chennai, Maharashtra and Delhi के लोगों ने पोस्टकोविड और ड्यूरिंग कोविड सहायता के लिए इनसे  संपर्क किया।

ज्यादातर लोग पोस्टकोविड ट्रामा मे थे। उनकी साइक्लोजिकल काउंसलिंग के जरिए ही समस्या ख़त्म हो गई। कुछ को डॉक्टर की काउंसलिंग की जरूरत थी तो  उन्हें डॉक्टर से जुड़वाया। इस तरह  आज तक इन  दोनों ने कुल मिलाकर 276 लोगों की डायरेक्ट इनडायरेक्ट मदद की है श्रीमती वर्षा झा  श्री विजय कुमार झा बालाघाट की सुपुत्री तथा श्री पवन झा जी दामाद हैं । 

आप दोनों के इस कार्य से समाज का गौरव  दिन - प्रति दिन वृद्धि को प्राप्त कर रहा । 

 युगल द्वय  को  यश कीर्ति श्री  ऐश्वर्य प्राप्त हो इन्हीं सुका मनाओं के साथ जन - मानस की प्रेरणा हेतु यह  समाचार सामाजिक समूहों मे  प्रेषित किया जाता है ।

A news paper published a story  about them-

https://thenewshorn.com/rajya/chattisgarh/bastar-after-the-kovid-transition-varsha-jha-and-her/cid3167472.htm

A saree , simple silk with some work. Went for a saree meet. After such a long time we met in a little bigger group. All vaccinated still outdoor.

Holy Communion Ceremony - Religion is love, respect and honor and this Kasavu Saree

I was invited for a ceremony and interestingly I was the only woman (may be the only North Indian) in the Malayali Church in a Kasavu Saree . All the moms and other family members of the kids participating were beautifully dressed and wearing beautiful sarees.

I was thinking while observing from the balcony how wonderful it was to be an outsider and being able to pay attention to what was going on around me. The ceremony lasted for over two hours.

The prayers were sung in Malyalam ( A language of India) The male singer was amazing. Don’t know why I couldn’t stop thinking of Yeshudas and Chitra (two famous singers from that community) The female singer was good too but the gentleman was singing through out the ceremony.

Christians are always associated with service. I saw the nuns in the audience and they reminded me of the nurses we have met in our life. 

The church was quiet and didn’t have too many people. The covid protocols were being followed.

I enjoyed seeing young kids walking around, getting bored and parents trying to juggle the various aspects of their religious beliefs and parenting.

The two babies in the audience slept through out while the older siblings went on doing their religious duty.

I went inside a place of worship after a long time, went to respect the family’s faith. I don’t practice religion but am always curious to know more about other cultures and life. 

I came back home thinking how wonderful it was to have a chance to witness a celebration of this kind.

My Saree is a gift from my sister’s sister in law. My sister married in a Malyali Family so this saree is a tribute to that relationship. 

Saree Meet - Such a rarity in 2020-2021 - Apr 24th

 #71/365 Saree #32 in 2021

When I want to loose myself , Jagjit Singh comes to rescue.

Listen to this ..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2VtP1zjdG8

सुनते हैं के मिल जाती है हर चीज़ दुआ से

इक रोज़ तुम्हें माँग के देखेंगे ख़ुदा से

दुनिया भी मिली है ग़म-ए-दुनिया भी मिला है

वो क्यूँ नहीं मिलता जिसे माँगा था ख़ुदा से

ऐ दिल तू उन्हें देख के कुछ ऐसे तड़पना

आ जाये हँसी उनको जो बैठे हैं ख़फ़ा से

जब कुछ ना मिला हाथ दुआओं को उठा कर

फिर हाथ उठाने ही पड़े हमको दुआ से

आईने में वो अपनी अदा देख रहे हैं

मर जाए की जी जाए कोई उनकी बला से

तुम सामने बैठे हो तो है कैफ़ की बारिश

वो दिन भी थे जब आग बरसती थी घटा से

-राणा अकबराबादी

A beautiful Bengal silk ( Geecha palla and murshidabad silk I think)

A darling middle school friend who is my designated shopper in Calcutta Soma Roy

The mother’s day Saree Post

It was a special occasion and a very special saree too but I just cannot find cheesy words on this mother’s day.

It’s not me anyway to “celebrate” a day on top of that - Mother’s day? As a mom I demand royal treatment everyday :)

My mother I lovingly call Amma is another story. All she wants is a video call, “dekh li to ab achcha lag gaya re”  Now that I can see you,I feel good ”

So many times I am working and she is there on the other side of the world  on my phone screen but she is okay with it. I think so many times that what I tell her probably doesn’t even make sense to her. BUT she loves her daughters and that’s enough for me.

I miss not being able to do this with my Mother in Law. I wish I had invested some time and cultivated this kind of a relationship. Now I wish I had stayed with her for little longer and had spent one on one time. 

This Saree is special, Telia Rumal is not my style but to honor a daughter who is taking care of her father’s legacy I got this.  I had it delivered to Amma and asked her to wear it. She did in September and then this Saree travelled to Boston with a friend. 

This Sunday a mom (from Desi Moms Network)  invited us for a lunch with another family. My heart was heavy with all the sad news from home but decided to go for the lunch. I have started “ check on other moms, call/text/meet” initiative so it was my turn to show up and I am glad I did. She has her parents visiting and another mom showed up to say hello. It was a beautiful sunny Sunday and we all enjoyed  lunch outside. Wrapped in amma’s Saree made me feel loved and warm.

Kids decided to stay home. I don’t even remember when I went out with Ashish last . The drive was beautiful with Jagjit Singh playing for us.

I don’t know if it was the food, the company, the weather, the season or the Saree( maybe a combination of all) I felt loved, happy and appreciated. The drive back home was sure easier on the heart and soul but heavier on my stomach. 

Papa wore black T shirt and my man donned a red one. The saree looks so different indoor and outdoor. I loved how Papa and Ashish complimented the  colors in saree :) It sure was a happy mother’s day.

If you feel the despair - you are not alone.

witten on 5/3

This Monday morning I should start a fresh week instead my heart and mind lingers in past week.

Last week I was dealing with all sorts of emotions. With COVID ragging in India it’s like every family, every household is in its grip.

I have stopped watching and reading the news, delete WhatsApp forwards without even having a look. I just cannot deal with the insensitiveness and ignorance. Last wednesday I took a mental health day and went to a Tulip farm. It was my first time seeing so many flowers in one place. 3 of us best friends were dealing with our own fears and anxieties about families back home. We were not there for just picking Tulips, we were there away from the realities. But could we do that? We sat there in the midst of the flowers and could only think of our parents and families. How helpless we were and in the back of our mind we are dealing with “what ifs”. 

Our famlies are dealing with so many things related to Covid without many resources and means. So many of us are afraid and don’t want to confront that fear.

Yesterday one of my best friends lost her mom to Covid. I cannot shake off the conversation  we were having in the Tulip field.  Her mom was a vibrant woman, so full of life. Her zest for life was contagious. Two days in the hospital and she decided it was time to shake another world with her laughter and jokes. She was one of a kind, had her own you tube channel for Pati Stories (Stories from grandma). Few years ago I went to see her in Chennai after a shopping trip in Kanjipuram. After feeding me a sumptuous south indian meal she admired and enjoyed my shopping and loved that I got really good sarees for very good prices. Declared on the spot that her daughter is not at all a good shopper and for her granddaughter’s wedding Jaya and Amma will go shopping. Today my heart aches for N, her Nani would have been the first one dancing at that wedding.

I am going though our text exchanges from the last few days and all of us kept saying she will be back soon home with her humor and first thing she will do is complain about the mismanagement in the hospital.

Last night I sat with my friend speechless and afraid in my own mind. We cannot even go to be with our loved ones. I am not a religious person but I am this close to repeating the same as my friend posted on her wall - “Daya Karo Prabhu”  ( Have pity on us please god)

We all dealt with fear last year here in USA but this is just exhausting now. 

Please hold each other tight, call your mom and dad and tell them you love them because you never know what is coming and who is next. 

PC- Sunayana's instagram pic - sometime you just need to borrow when you cannot find your own words.

Some time thats all I need to get through the day. Smiling Amma